Why the YMCA? Hope, Patience, and Swim Noodles
I became an active member at the YMCA in Summit, NJ through participating in the Livestrong program. In November of 2017, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and went through just over a year of treatments including a mastectomy followed by 6 rounds of hard-core chemotherapy and another 12 infusions of a targeted biological drug specifically designed for my type of cancer. I also had multiple reconstructive surgeries, the last one just a couple of months ago. Early in the process I researched programs with the encouragement of the nurse navigator at the Summit Medical Group where I did my treatments. I found Livestrong though one of the websites she recommended, and immediately knew I wanted to do the program. I just had to get through treatments and then I could start!
I never felt like my symptoms from the chemo were dramatic. I had mouth sores, a metallic taste in my mouth, and flavors were muted out; I had some bone pain, fatigue, nausea and other GI symptoms; I went through chemically-induced menopause with all of the discomforts of hot flashes and hormonal ups and downs; and some of my fingernails even fell out. I told myself those were minor discomforts. I was managing! I went to work part time, and felt like I was keeping my head above the water. My family and friends kept me company. For every round of treatment I had someone stay with me, bring food, or give me rides, and as a single mom their support meant the world to me.
My main source of distress was cosmetic: I lost my hair, I had a tissue expander that felt hard and made my breasts look lopsided (not to mention the scars and loss of sensation), I had an ugly port catheter under my collarbone, and to my great frustration I was gaining weight. Over the course of the treatments I found myself becoming unrecognizable, so tired-looking. A patient, not a person. Other physical changes happened gradually, but I woke up to them suddenly, like waking up from a bad dream and realizing it wasn’t a dream at all. I was ashamed to admit that every time I went down stairs I was afraid I would fall, that doors were hard to pull open, that I was too anxious to sleep, that I was getting behind financially. At the same time, my doctor was happy with my outcome, and my blood work came back with normal results every time. The treatments cured the cancer and I should be happy, but at one point I said to my doctor, I wish we hadn’t found the cancer early so I could have stayed my old self longer and then die young. It was a very low point.
I knew I had to do something to turn myself around and remembered Livestrong. One afternoon I got through to the Livestrong coordinator on the phone. She cheerfully invited me to come by, tour the YMCA, and fill out the paperwork. She was so encouraging and raved about the trainers and the program. Her confidence was infectious. That day I felt hopeful. And it all got better from there.
It took me a while to commit to the program fully after my initial excitement was met with the reality that recovery is a slow and gradual process that takes patience, consistency, and courage. I am grateful that I wasn’t alone, the others in the group were going through similar things, and I wasn’t going to be allowed to pity myself and give up. The trainers wanted accountability, they needed us come to the sessions. They acknowledged that it was going to be hard, that we wouldn’t see results overnight, but if we trusted the process and did the work, we would see results after the 3-month program. I wasn’t always convinced that they were right. Part of each Livestrong session is 35 minutes of cardio. That was the hardest part. Woman against machine. In the beginning I was struggling to walk 2 miles in 35 minutes. Thank god for music! One morning I was contemplating skipping a session because I just wasn’t up to it. I went to email the coordinator and saw a reminder that we were going to be in the pool. I had been looking forward to trying the deep water classes, I’ve always loved water! So I got myself moving. I have such a clear memory of that day because in the warm water, the music playing, the sun shining in through the windows, the teacher’s bright eyes and encouraging voice, I felt happy. It felt good to be alive and I knew I was changing. It became clear to me that I needed to really fully embrace the journey. I started a mindfulness practice every night before I fell asleep where I visualized myself at a healthy weight, loving myself, and feeling strong. I started watching what I ate and coming to the Y on the days that we didn’t have Livestrong training. I tried Barre, yoga, cycling, CRX Works, and others. I got better with cardio, too. Over time I started adding bursts of slow jogging, and set a goal that in 3 months I would run a 5k. After a while, I was running 5ks on the treadmill several times a week.
When Livestrong came to an end, I joined the YMCA. It was a no-brainer. At that point, I was hooked. I have doggedly continued to work on my health. I lost 30 pounds over the course of the year, and continue to work with my trainer when I need to bump up my routine. Today I am the healthiest, strongest, and happiest I have ever been in my whole life. There was just one more big challenge I didn’t think I could ever overcome: noodle jogging in deep water fitness. If you take deep water classes at the Summit YMCA you know that Friday is noodle day. On Fridays when the teacher brings out the noodles everyone in class looks at me and we burst out laughing. They all know I will soon be floundering to balance on my noodles, as they slide out from under me and I pitch forward time and time again. Only just a few days ago it suddenly clicked! I can noodle jog! I don’t think I am going to let anyone know that I can do it though, everyone needs the class clown.
My time at the YMCA in Summit is filled with connection, people that greet me by name, genuinely care about how I am doing, and notice when I have been away, people who pat me on the back, and give words of encouragement, and last but not least, those who laugh with me and my noodle!
